Have you ever read the correspondence of your loved ones, and how did you go on living with new information?

Have you ever read the correspondence of your loved ones, and how did you go on living with new information?

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answers (57)

Answer 1
August, 2021

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Answer 2
August, 2021

I read it, of course, because it's useful for falling asleep. Not to drink vodka every evening.

Quite boring, I have to admit, they write. I can be more artistic, and more cushy and generally more original.

In general, one disorder comes out. However, he falls asleep well under dreary texts. Just like under Hegel.

Answer 3
August, 2021

I have never read other people's correspondence, I could not even get something from someone else's pockets, if asked, take other people's things without asking ... For the time being. Today I read a rescription of the former (from today)), and then because we had too vague relations. I found out that he had plans to part with me, even wrote when, and the boy was carried away by another girl. Well, well, as they say, be afraid of your desires, they tend to come true. Only for him earlier than he wanted. She did not say about the correspondence, but just talked. Conclusion - sometimes, in very difficult situations, this is permissible. At least, now I know what to do for me - why give my time, energy and feelings to someone who does not love you at all? Therefore, personally, I feel relief from what I learned today, and let him understand himself.

Answer 4
August, 2021

I read my husband's letters and in the end it turned out that he had been cheating on me for 15 years ...

It was justified that these were ordinary prostitutes and mostly blowjobs.

Now they had a fight - made peace - promised no more.

What do you think, if a person constantly cheated, can he stop to save the family with his beloved wife and 3 children?

This is something it was difficult to endure and forgive, and I cannot forgive the next betrayal. But I myself feel sorry for ruining my family, I love him, such a party ... (((

Answer 5
August, 2021

I read it, by chance. My "best friend" sometimes logs into VK from my phone. Once she forgot to leave, so I didn't know about it, so I sat on the page as on my own, I go to messages, I don't understand why me there are other people. In general, I go into correspondence with our mutual friend, well, how, she is just an acquaintance to me, but for Angelina (my former best friend) this is another closest person. Well, so I open it, and I decide to look up a little there they discussed me. I posted the history of our correspondence, where Angelina threw off a photo of how she eats snails, I say, eat snails fairy? She answers me that they cost a lot, but she didn’t like it, it seemed very funny to me, she tells me why I put it in history, I say that it’s funny, she sends this emoticon: 🤦♀️. Well, she She sent all this to her friend with the words: no, well, is she not stupid? Enrages, she has already bothered me. Her friend (Sasha) says like: Gel, you need her, tell me? And Angelina answers, and with whom I will go to gymnastics, I do not want to be alone! Then Sasha says: well, you yourself understand that this is envy, she is jealous that you flew to Turkey and now eat snails.

I didn't even have envy in my thoughts !!! I was only glad for Angelina that she went to Turkey! And let them continue to eat their snails!

In general, I found out that I was not her best friend, as I thought, and that she was with me only because of gymnastics, well, that is, she lives far away, and she few buses go, in order to be in time for training, she needs to take the bus, which arrives at the complex at 15: 15, and Tanya starts only at 16:00, well, I meet her and we spend time together before training, although could spend those 30 minutes cleaning or homework ..

What should I do now?

Answer 6
August, 2021

I was looking. But my wife encrypted a correspondence with one man, she googled how to do it in viber. I have my phone lying around and open. She read the fragment that she did not manage to remove, everything, the divorce and the bedside table between the beds. Although there was nothing special, as for me. And the standard phrases, trust is lost, for me this is an emotional betrayal, I will not forget all my life and everything in this spirit.
Here everything is written about some kind of trust, which is undermined by them upon learning about the affair of their friend or girlfriend. A knife in the back, etc. Gentlemen, you got drunk. A knife in the back is when they throw you at the grandmother and at the apartment, as my friend's wife threw. A knife in your back, this is when crap is poured into your food, slowly killing you. A knife in the back, this is when they use you waiting for the right moment to dump, while pulling the loot, and you think that you have a wonderful family. A knife in the back is when your children are starving, and the family's money goes to games, etc. This is a family betrayal. And the correspondence, and oh my God, even sex on the side is not a knife in the back, it is your fault in the family.
Mine said to me, I can't give you what you want, oh, I can't, I don't want to. This is a blow in the stomach, she offended. And I have to squirm at work, do what I do not like, because I want it, providing for my family in this difficult time.

Answer 7
August, 2021

I read the answers above and it gets a little sad. I was probably very lucky, because my MCH and I freely read each other's correspondence. Business or conversational, with former friends and passions ... All one. Quarrels and disappointments because of this never happened. They came to this at one point not because of the issue of trust at all, but because of "nothing to do". It became interesting who lives what, wondering about each other's friends. From that moment on, sometimes I read his correspondence, and he is mine, just for the sake of leisure. There is really nothing to hide. Absolute trust. But at any moment I can ask him to stop reading my dialogues, and they will not ask me at all why I decided so. They will not cling to trust, suspect me of treason. Not at all. Maybe the understanding between us works too well. Or it may seem strange. So we live :)

Answer 8
August, 2021

It depends on the purpose for which you want to read these correspondence. If there are any suspicions about the loyalty of the partner, then it may be advisable to check the correspondence. If a banal curiosity, then it is absurd.

Answer 9
August, 2021

In my case, if I am tempted to read the correspondence, then I care too much. At these moments I start to spoil everything, go crazy, dig the brains of myself and my partner. Here, the centralization of the world on a partner is also manifested. Therefore, I try to control myself and remind of some other important matters, from which I am distracted by planting myself in a pit of jealousy. In this pit, you can sit and swim in its mud, or you can stop feeding yourself empty dramas, take a simpler attitude to human stupidity and inconstancy.

In short - it hurts a lot of free time if you spend it on such not the most decent heresy.

Answer 10
August, 2021

Yes, I read it and read my quails, and I think it's absolutely normal.

It was just a very unfortunate and unpleasant experience in life associated with treason. Well, it's obvious that when people have been together for a long time and love each other, they feel when something is wrong, so I had to take his phone while my martyr slept, and I never regretted it and learned a lot of interesting things.

Since then, unfortunately, I have no absolute trust in people of the opposite sex. I seem to try to trust, but I don’t forget to check. If I have nothing to hide, then it will not worry me at all. If I want to discuss a person with someone, then I do it not in social networks, but directly at a personal meeting or simply by calling. As a rule, reading correspondence happens with people of the opposite sex, communication of my martyr with friends is not particularly interesting to me. Therefore, life has taught - Trust, but verify. There are too many deceitful and hypocritical people now, and I do not want to be surrounded by such people.

But this does not mean that every day I frantically sit in his social networks and try to find something. So, occasionally or in those moments when my intuition tells me (and she never let me down in this regard)

Answer 11
August, 2021

Climbed - found out about treason. And so about every time. Judge for yourself, if you want to live a happy fool, then believe a word. If you do not change, then they change you, but practically everything changes.

Answer 12
August, 2021

I read jokes and watch memes in correspondence with friends. But if I suddenly see something more serious (for example, his friend broke up with his girlfriend, shared his feelings with my martyr) I’ll flip through.

My phone is also open for him - reads when he wants.

UPD: I read the confa, where they and their friends do exactly what they joke and throw memes (well, even when they get together to discuss somewhere). That is, I do not go into private messages, where some important information may be contained! And if something like that happens then I don't read it! We have a trusting relationship with the martyr and everything is fine)

Answer 13
August, 2021

I read comments and answers, sometimes I am horrified. Why don't you respect your partners so much? It's one thing if both relate to reading the correspondence normally, but if he is against it, why bother and say "we are partners"?

I understand, if you already have any suspicions (not simple paranoia and jealousy) , then to see in order to understand whether to continue the relationship or not, it is quite acceptable, do not you live with these worries and suspicions further, it is better to make sure. But just like that, getting into correspondence is at least ugly. Relationships, trust, love and all that - yes, yes, but I personally correspond with friends, for example, why the hell am I not entitled to confidentiality? We have our own jokes, our own communication style and our secrets, common memories, if I want to share with a partner, I will share, but it’s very ugly to go where you weren’t invited. And it’s all the more ugly if a friend trusts me, tells me something, and my partner impudently climbs and reads. The friend expects it to stay between us. In the end, for me personally, it is simply unpleasant that my partner climbs somewhere without asking. There are things that are personal to me. And no, this is not some kind of secret, it is, for example, some shameful incident from childhood that I remember with my friend and laugh. I believe that personal space should be. For example, a friend of mine tells my partner about problems in a relationship / sex with a girl, and the partner gives some advice based on his previous experience. For example, he writes, they say, I somehow picked up a bouquet from Tanya, well, nothing. Or Olya had such and such a form of genitals (well, let's say, this is important in the context (:). And Katya had great oral sex, so let your girlfriend try this. Why should I, for example, know about this? it's none of my business and I shouldn't read about this, this only applies to those people who talk about it (well, their consciences, since they spread the girls' personal information, but why continue this vicious chain?). Something may seem unpleasant to you. , because you will give it a different meaning than your partner gave it when he wrote something like that. Think of something else.

Too much, perhaps, well let it.

Just want to say that if your partner is against, it, oh my God, does not mean that you are being cheated on. There are just things that do not concern you.

Answer 14
August, 2021

Maybe I will surprise you, but I haven't read the correspondence of my loved ones. Because they are loved ones, because I believed them and believe them. If I'm wrong, then I'm a fool, and they are right when they deceived me. But so far there has been no reason to think so. My dear beloved, I have no doubt in you, and if you fall in love with another, I will have the courage to step aside. By the way, loved ones in the plural are possible, in "correspondence" - no.

Answer 15
August, 2021

Once my boyfriend left his iPod with me, and purposefully. I had a couple of hours to read everything, I read old correspondence, which were three years before our relationship with him. Wow, how I cried. Although after three years I understand that I was a stupid fool. Why stir up the past. Now I don't read the correspondence. Since I am confident in my boyfriend (well, I didn't find anything like that in essence). If a person betrays you, then in any case, sooner or later you will find out about it. Do not cheat yourself, our thinking and mistrust, more often than not, kill our relationship. Talk more, ask. Love everyone!

Answer 16
August, 2021

I believe that it is possible to get into correspondence only if there are serious grounds and suspicions. My ex-boyfriend regularly read my every message. Forbidden to correspond with all the old important male friends. I read my notebooks, personal notes. It became unbearable. I began to feel that they were standing on my throat. Trust should be natural and easy. And not only to be reinforced by the control of each step of the girl. We parted because of his empty jealousy. I’m even scared to remember this feeling of constant panic that someone will call or write suddenly and all this will be attributed to the fact that I am a scum that cannot be trusted. Now my rule is not to continue to develop relationships with guys if sick jealousy appears.

Answer 17
August, 2021

I read .

When my boyfriend just came to me, I hardly knew him at all, but I hoped that he was prudent and would not write nonsense to other girls. Oh, how wrong I was.

Well, I was offended by him, of course, the first time the quarrel was generally scandalous, it got to the point that he already said "let me leave then, since you are disgusted", but we are safe made up, and I explained to him that you can't write anything to anyone on VK, because it's the Internet. Indeed, after that he began to select words and not throw them around.

Love everyone <3

Answer 18
August, 2021

I read it twice. What a sin to conceal.

The first time - I learned about the betrayal of my girlfriend (I'll make a reservation: flirting is also treason for me). A longtime acquaintance "rolled balls" to my girlfriend, and she answered rather relaxedly. I had enough for 2 days - and then I expressed everything that I think about her (I'm not the only one to suffer, right?). And everything happened quite banal and simple - the girl decided to go to her page from my phone and write to her friend, but forgot to leave. After a while, I discovered that notifications from her sister began to come to my phone, and very often (my dialogues with her sister came to life, as a rule, once a month and then in one message). So I found out that I had her account open. Everything was quiet and peaceful until my passion with a friend began to communicate. There was enough information for me to break the relationship. But something stopped me, and as it turned out later, I shouldn't have done it then. But this is a completely different story :) I found out about the betrayal at the 6th month of the relationship, and ended at the 12th month. I wasted my time, in general. What do I really dislike.

The second case is that I am meeting, which means that a "chuyka" attacked me sharply (the sixth sense I call that), and she starts working in a completely extreme case. And I was interested in the dialogue with her friend. It is with her. While I was sleeping I got into the phone. So I found out that she misses her "turbulent period" of youth, and the impressive size of her ex-lover's penis (the worst thing for a guy to hear that. Akin to hearing a girl unflattering comments about her breasts). And I also found out that he is far from the second guy in terms of sex (she argued the opposite, but there was no question from me on this topic, she said, krch). I slept almost instantly. They let them down and forgot (what efforts I put in ...).

They also climbed into my correspondence from my laptop, while my girlfriend was at home and I was driving from work. I found a dialogue with a friend, where I discuss her ambiguous behavior with my classmate (there were reasons). A friend tried to persuade me to leave, while I was trying to merge this topic, ostensibly agreeing with him. Naturally, no one listened to me. I parted with Madama the second - I went to another. If I knew how it would turn out for me, I would not start for anything. Wasted time again.

Now I'm dating a girl. She has no desire to climb the phone. When I am interested in shots, I ask who it is. "Chuika" has not worked in her direction yet - I keep myself in control, as they say. Yes, and does not give a reason, for now.

And what do I need all this "paste". Do I regret climbing? No, you have no idea how disgusting it is to confess to a girl her feelings at the time when she sweetly remembers (with a live boyfriend!) Her ex, or she responds to your friend's flirting. Trying to explain it anyway, but not like that. Will work for me "chuyka" again - first I'll ask. If you don't like the reaction, I'll get in.

All this is nonsense about "personal space". For 5 minutes I went to the restroom to do things without my half - here's the space for you. Other similarsort examples already according to your vision. There is nothing to hide - what more to worry. I personally have nothing to hide, I will explain and tell you any word I say. What do I demand from my girlfriend. The maximum, with which I personally agree - "The less you know, you sleep better." This is where it really helps, but this is no reason for now.

But the dark hidden can emerge right now ...

In a bummer, strong relationships, closeness and more trust !: )

Answer 19
August, 2021

I read it, because there were already a billion reasons, and even more excuses (of course, I am not making excuses). It turned out that they had been cheating on me for six months already. True, I was a little fool and believed in everything "I was wrong, I really love you." asked me, it’s still supposedly who and why he / she is writing this to you. Eh.

Answer 20
August, 2021

I read it. It didn't turn around. And they read my correspondence. Not for the sake of checking, sometimes out of interest, sometimes because the “half” itself asked to find something in any chat, because he himself is busy.

I have nothing to hide. Him too.

If someone does not trust the other half - ask to show. It is unlikely that you will be denied if there are no secrets)

Those who say “if you read other people's correspondence, then you don’t trust” are wrong. No connection. I just want to read it :)

Answer 21
August, 2021

Once my girlfriend forgot to log out of her account from my phone. Naturally, she knew that the page was open in the browser of my mobile. The most interesting thing for me was to find out what she says to her friends about me and what they, in turn, think of me. Well, I typed my name in the search for messages and learned a lot of new things. It turned out that her good friend, who, by the way, I didn’t like right away, didn’t take our relationship seriously, and he didn’t speak very flatteringly about me as a person. At the same time, in fact, he did not know me at all. But that's not the fun part yet! While reading the correspondence with her best friend, I stopped and decided to finish reading the next day, because it was getting late at night. It means that I remembered the place where I stopped, and the next day I found out that the correspondence was deleted) The scandal was huge, because this is not the only dialogue that was "cleaned up". But, as it turned out later, there were perfectly justified reasons for that.

This is me for not having to think out something, it is better to sit down and ask about everything directly than to be offended by your imagination. All good)

Answer 22
August, 2021

A couple of years ago I "rolled up" to a lady. And everything seemed to be fine and smooth, but something did not allow all this to grow into something more serious. Inquiries from girlfriends and friends on various topics about my passion did not give anything. I decided on a desperate and low step. Yes, yes, yes ... Having cooperated with one friend who works in ... well, there ... well, you get the idea. For the N-th amount of money, I was provided with her correspondence. My nobility did not allow me to read and go into details, but I found a huge correspondence, noticeably different even from mine in volume with a certain Alexander.
--------------- Eniway, after some for a period of time we nevertheless began to meet, and soon she herself told me that besides me, “Alexander” was also courting her, and I, in fact, fought blindly for her. Hmm ... In any case, this relationship did not end in anything good, since a person, as can be seen from history, does not know what he wants from life.

But! What I want to emphasize in this story. That it is not so important to see the correspondence itself as its volume, and in general its presence. If you see that your lady is in intensive correspondence with someone you don't know much, you should think about it. And she should react calmly to the request that she provide her "archives" for reading. And you shouldn't even read them.
Just one person's reaction to such a request - you can draw certain conclusions.

Answer 23
August, 2021

I got into the phone when I was already 90 percent sure that there was someone else besides me, I needed confirmation, so to speak for myself, in order to decide to pack up my clothes and go into the sunset.

I think any person just won't get into personal correspondence. So, there is a reason, otherwise why is it necessary

Answer 24
August, 2021

It seems to me that sometimes it is worth doing, it is definitely worth it, because if a person is in a relationship with you, then he should not "twist, twirl" with others at all - this is simply swinish behavior, disrespect for a partner and low enough (I not about just talking with the opposite sex, but about outright flirting, etc.) It became disgusting from all your trust payments

Answer 25
August, 2021

Didn't read it. But I am sure that there is nothing like that. I don't suppose, but I know 100%.

How is it that I haven't read it, but I know?

In two days I wrote a program that analyzes all correspondence in the account, and if it finds suspicious words / phrases like "I cheated on him" or "I love you" in correspondence with others, then the program sends notice and indicates which phrase was found, and with whom. Moreover, the correspondence itself is not shown. This is just an alarming signal.

The program also checks all sent photos, and using open photo analysis algorithms based on neural networks (artificial intelligence) determines whether this photo is nudity, and if the program detects this, it sends me this photo for verification. This, fortunately, has never happened ...

It's good to be a programmer! =)

Answer 26
August, 2021

Once such an opportunity was given and curiosity got the better of it. Looked through, indignant what boredom he has in messages, there was no more desire to read

Answer 27
August, 2021

There was a case - I read it. While this activity is disgusting and destructive, it helped me make myself better. Simple and elementary, I read not the most flattering reviews and opinions about myself, it hurt me and I began to actively improve myself. In general, thanks to the past for this criticism and that the devil pulled me to read the correspondence. Well, be aware that you cannot invade your personal space, and such a successful "fit" from reading other people's correspondence is an exception.

Answer 28
August, 2021

I read the correspondence of my loved one and I believe that you need to know all the information, even the one that is hidden from you.
So I read the correspondence of my wife (already former) and her "best friend from work" (who is just a friend and that's it), a lot of unpleasant things were revealed and I wanted to gut them!
I have read and will continue to read. I hate when they lie to me and hide something. I can show everything myself. I have nothing to pluck. And if they read mine, then I take it normally. And you don't have to talk about personal space in personal relationships, you just don't have it, don't show off and hide behind this garbage.

Answer 29
August, 2021

I read it twice. The first time became a stimulant to reunion, the second destroyed our relationship :)

Am I sorry? Hard to tell. At least, it became easier, the halo from the head of my man fell, along with this the feeling "I am not worthy of him", "he is too perfect" and blah blah blah disappeared.
But what I am sorry for is my ideas about a person , faith in him. He opened up in a new way, and this new thing was very disgusting and disgusting.

By the way, both times it appeared in his personal correspondence unintentionally, and if it were not for female intuition / sixth sense (call it what you want), who had been haunted for some time, then maybe she would have lived now in ignorance. But both then and now I think that the boundaries must be respected.

The less you know, you sleep better, especially if you don't believe in the pink world and "well, don't find fault with what an ideal union."

P.S. In correspondence, we often share thoughts / secrets / problems with friends, which may also not please the partner. And this, in my opinion, is tantamount to overhearing your conversation, or whatever, read your thoughts :)

Answer 30
August, 2021

Yes, I did, but then our relationship was still at an early stage.

Now I just don't need it, I completely trust her.

But if suddenly again for some reason Because I will feel a surge of jealousy, I can read it again.

It works both ways. She also sometimes reads my dialogues.

Answer 31
August, 2021

Yes, it happened more than once, but in 98% of all cases I did not find anything that would be unpleasant for me to see.

Oh, these awful 2% just put me in not the best position. My boyfriend and my "best friend" flatteringly discussed me and my actions (which I certainly did not expect from the latter). And also how my boyfriend wants to part with me, how I got him and the like. But that was not all. I also found a very pleasant correspondence with another girl, who later turned out to be his new passion.

Do I regret reading all this? No, because living with a sweet lie is worse than a bitter truth.

Answer 32
August, 2021

I read it, quite by accident the girl left her VK correspondence open on my computer. And before that, she was very nervous when I turned my gaze towards the screen, when she was texting with someone. And it made me a little alarmed.

It turned out that there was a correspondence with her friend, whom she told how good she was with me and how happy she was. As a result, I felt ashamed of myself. I logged out of her account. After that, I have never in my life had a desire to read girls' correspondence.

Answer 33
August, 2021

I read his correspondence with "just a friend", a former classmate. I knew that they corresponded a lot and often. And it seems that there was nothing criminal there, but when "just friends" discuss threesome sex (even if not with each other, but still), when he told her everything about me (about what is happening in my family, in school , ABOUT EVERYTHING) - this is rather unpleasant.
To this day, I have not admitted that I got into messages. By the way, their communication gradually faded away.

And I promised myself never again to go where there might be something unpleasant for me. Indeed, the less you know - you sleep better. And you need to trust each other.

Answer 34
August, 2021

once the girl I was dating then read my VK correspondence while I was sleeping, she decided to wake me up with a blow to the face ... such a thing.

Answer 35
August, 2021

Then we lived together for 2.5 minutes.) Maybe even less. If you don't trust a person, then it's better not to live / not be with this person anymore. Everything is simple and obvious.

Answer 36
August, 2021

My girlfriend was just Hercule Poirot. A man with his long nose was constantly looking for dirt on me. And when she finally found nothing, her brains began to soar about who was in my bookmarks and why and what I was cheating with them there with everyone.

In general, whoever is looking for nasty things will always find ... And if he doesn’t find it, he will invent it. Women are such creatures that they often look for cheating on a guy to justify their behavior.

There are types of people who need to be constantly monitored, both male and female. If you are confident in yourself, then it is better to control the other half.

Answer 37
August, 2021

Once upon a time, although I knew (I had no idea - I knew!>

There are doors that are best left unopened. As well as there are actions that are not worth doing if you are not ready to accept the consequences of these actions, at least somehow different from your expectations. Probably, this is the main mistake of a person who gets into someone else's correspondence. There is always a chance that you will stumble upon something completely different from what you would like to see. And then get upset, worry, waste your nerves.

Is it worth it?

Answer 38
August, 2021

I have never read the correspondence of those with whom I met. In principle, in my entire life I have looked through other people's correspondence only once - when my mother told me a bunch of nasty things about the person with whom I was dating. I wanted to check whether she decided to express her "fairy" personally. After making sure that there were no such messages, I closed the browser with her account and did not go there anymore.

In principle, a person who crawls into other people's accounts, notebooks, diaries, bags, etc. it seems to me either immature and insecure, or a tyrant hungry for control. He's not ready for healthy partnerships anyway.

Answer 39
August, 2021

I read the correspondence of my beloved boyfriend with his friend, it was horrible ... I learned so much about myself ... I didn't want to live anymore ... I thought about suicide often

Answer 40
August, 2021

Yes. I read it. A very beloved person left me, I happened to go to his VK, read the correspondence with my best friend, learned a lot, and, honestly, I'm not ashamed, because I know how I felt before, and how - after .

These are two big differences. I got angry. I felt better.

Yes, personal space, yes, respect, but sometimes, you know, it's better to violate this personal space to avoid the worst.

Answer 41
August, 2021

No, I haven’t read it and, if possible, I try to specifically roar VK accounts before I accidentally notice something, because we are social creatures, sometimes we make elephant flies, sometimes an elephant fly, sometimes I want to throw out my tension or my irritation, a person wrote, and forgot, but we will see and already wind ourselves up to the fullest.

Answer 42
August, 2021

I haven’t read it, but my personal has been attempted repeatedly.

I believe that controlling a loved one means not trusting him and, first of all, being insecure. Healthy relationships, in my opinion, should be built on exceptional trust, respect for the personal space of your soul mate and awareness of your competitiveness. If for a loved one there is no one better than you, then why should she be with another?

All of the above unsubscribed, I ask you to remember: did the control of your parents save you from cigarettes, booze, foul language and sex until the age of 18? :) The control works exactly until the second it is directly implemented.

Answer 43
August, 2021

I haven't read it. I can peep over my shoulder, watch dialogues with whom, if something attracts attention, please show me. Once, in my presence, his friend's girlfriend wrote to him. After that, my boyfriend had to confess to the situation that he was hiding from me. It was not cheating, not flirting, not tackling attempts, nothing like that, just a life situation, having learned the details of which I could have experienced more.

My correspondence is sometimes read. That is, a guy can pick up the phone, open dialogs, make sure that I'm boring and correspond only with him and his best friend and give the phone to me.

Holy, personally I consider correspondence with friends. Reading them, you can learn the secrets of not only your half, which is a priori mean and ugly.

Answer 44
August, 2021

I never read it because I trusted. But they read my correspondence several times, although there was nothing to look for there. Nevertheless, he always found a reason for a scandal. Whether it's an extra smiley face or just the presence of this person on the planet. I will say right away that a person who climbs to read the correspondence of a loved one is either dishonest himself, or does not trust. They didn't trust me, although there was no reason for that. And it was because of this that the relationship ended.

Answer 45
August, 2021

I have never read it and do not recommend it to anyone. Instead of dealing with the symptoms of the disease, I suggest everyone who has the urge to read someone else's correspondence to understand the reason - the most serious crisis of confidence, which pushes you to take such hard-hitting steps. There is no universal recipe here, but if this happens, then clearly not everything is in order with your relationship. It is worth at least to think about the advisability of continuing them.

Answer 46
August, 2021

I read it myself and my young man suffered the same.

There were many cases of this and I can say one thing -

He who seeks will always find.

Some talk about personal space, others - about trust and reading correspondences equated to the eighth deadly sin. I will say that this takes place only in the early stages of a relationship, when you are not yet confident in your partner, and it is necessary (!) If you already have reason to doubt your partner.

Excessive information, whatever it is, you will most likely be perceived hyperbolized and painful, and most likely will entail even greater distrust of your partner and, as a result, a reason for parting. Why do you need it? If you get into dialogues, then obviously you already doubt / suspect something, and it is also obvious that you will find confirmation of this in these ill-fated dialogues.

Then you will silently digest it and you will not be abandoned by the thought of what you have read, and you will correlate all your partner's actions with this very read.

As a result, nerves and relationships are spoiled. In addition, the feeling that your (precious) personal space has climbed, to put it mildly, is unpleasant. Once again - why do you need this? The less you know the better you sleep. Checked.

I myself deliberately got into the messages of my martyr after his betrayal with my girlfriend, after discussing and solving this situation. And when everything seemed to go smoothly, the whole situation settled down, he forgot to exit his VK in my phone, and I was glad to get into their dialogue. Despite the fact that we solved this situation, I was disgusted in my soul from contemplating all the messages, how she asks him to part with me and how they discuss how to hide it from me. I had to spend a lot of time to forget this, while, I repeat, we omitted this situation among ourselves.

Practice shows one thing - stay in the dark, otherwise you risk ruining your nerves and relationships at the same time.

Answer 47
August, 2021

How can I agree with those who spoke above ... By chance, my beloved came from my laptop and did not close it. * The second time on the same rake, how do I reproach myself for this curiosity ... * I saw the correspondence with an ex-girlfriend with whom he remained on good terms. At that time, we met long enough not to doubt the sincerity of feelings, and I saw intimate photos from his side, sent just a couple of days ago (which, as I thought, were intended only for me) and quite such frank correspondence. I thought for a long time, could not understand HOW you can talk about love of one and flirt with the other, how in general to trust a person and "be" as before ... We talked, the relationship was preserved, but still jealous, because women are fools and life is nothing teaches, periodically read and notice "interesting" moments. I am silent, waiting for the climax :)

Answer 48
August, 2021

I always do this on occasion. Because the excuses in the genre "Oh, a person needs personal space, he / she is to blame for reading, here is their own space with its own atmosphere" is the lot of omegas who do not respect themselves a priori, and humiliation for them is something of a lifestyle.

Total control is necessary and very important.

Answer 49
August, 2021

Sometimes suspicions are so strong that it is impossible not to read it. Well, that's how it was for me. I read it, confirmed it, said goodbye.

In general, you can read this only if you are one hundred percent determined to leave immediately after, because this is a real pandora's box. There is a risk of not stopping.

Answer 50
August, 2021

Nothing good usually ends.

I already knew about his infidelities and we were building a relationship, so to speak from a "blank slate".

The devil pulled me to read what there was. And there it was not as my faithful said - "just, nothing serious."

After all that I read, I couldn't build anything further.

So it didn't bring any good emotions, but maybe it was for the best.

Answer 51
August, 2021

This was the case with two young people.

I read from one that he has been cheating on me for a long time and generally considers me a girl of easy virtue and hysterical (and this man said that he wants children from me and cried when he had any problems). Made conclusions. I talked to the girl with whom he cheated on me. She hung the same noodles on her ears that she was alone. Together they threw him.

The second is more complicated. It so happened that he left one girl for me, and when I read their correspondence, I felt painful and ashamed that I became one of the reasons for the breakup, that girl is a wonderful person, she still struggles with shame. But there were some pluses, it became clearer that the martyr is needed and what he loves more.

Answer 52
August, 2021

I read it, it turned out that there was a "work" on two fronts, but oh well.

I don't understand some, they write that you need to leave "free space from yourself" what is the connection with trust? In my opinion, if a person has nothing to hide, then he will not hide, I can absolutely freely show the correspondence, this is after all your other half, and not a friend, I don’t feel sorry, probably because I know what I am writing, and I know how to keep my distance from girls (in case there is a girl) smoothly moved on to the topic of friendship between m / f, but that's another story c:

p / s I wonder if someone will write: "-Who are not people jealous, but they are insecure, and in general it is so bad that it is better not to start a relationship with such ... "(Written by order of sarcasm)

Answer 53
August, 2021

Once, quite by accident, I took the phone of my loved one to see the time, but dialogs opened. The topmost one is from the former. Message from him: "I miss." And since then it has started. I read their correspondence for about a month. I waited for something criminal to appear there, after which it would be simply impossible to get out. And now this moment has come. To say that it ruined our relationship is to say nothing. This month was like hell, where every day I read and was tormented by jealousy and misunderstanding: how can a person hug me like that, look at me like that and write to another woman at the same time.
Now I understand that each person should have their own personal space, guaranteed protected from the encroachments of the second half. If you don't trust a person, then this is not a reason to check him. So you have a problem. And reading the correspondence will not solve it in any way. Even in the simplest meaningless messages, jealous people are able to see something that actually does not exist.
Trust is the basis of relationships. Talk to the person, trust him, leave a place where he could breathe freely without you.

Answer 54
August, 2021

I can dare and admit: yes, I did. Of course, I did not deliberately take away the phone from my young man, with whom we were together at that time. It just happened once that he logged into VK from my computer and forgot to log out. It's not an excuse, though, and I still feel ashamed for showing distrust towards a guy who doesn't deserve it. But female curiosity got the better gender, messages to his friends about how I bored him and that he wants to part with me, confessions that he once killed a man ... There was nothing like that. And yet, despite this, I believe that you should not suspect your soulmate of any bad deeds if there are no weighty prerequisites.

Answer 55
August, 2021

There was a case, but surprisingly, this really led to some changes in the relationship for the better. BUT this is a sad and useless occupation, you should not continue to do it.

Answer 56
August, 2021

I read it once, the devil pulled, definitely nothing good comes of it, and they read my correspondence, they were also unhappy, but in fact there was nothing terrible there.

It is better not to read, I believe that this is everyone's personal space, with its own atmosphere, you are still unlikely to understand something and will only be offended in vain and shake your nerves to yourself and your beloved.

Strong relationship to you🌺

Answer 57
August, 2021

I read it. I drew conclusions. He was very offended. Because I did not understand that people usually speak offensively when they speak not for the ears of others, but in fact, do not mean anything like that. For example, employees among themselves can call the boss a "fool" without malice, but imagine what the boss would think if he was told about the word "fool" by taking him out of context? It's the same with loved ones.

In general - watch this short film by our famous director - youtu.be

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