To the above, I would like to add that it is not worth it on the first date, and even more so when meeting, to ask open-ended questions (these questions cannot be answered yes, no, etc.). Such questions begin with the words “how "," What do you think "," where "," interesting, but what ... ".
Topics that are better to avoid : salary, place of work, ex-partner, health, personal problems, family secrets, religion. Men's topics should not be touched upon either. Exceptions are if the girl herself is interested in cars, computers, sports. Yes, there are such women. Topics on which you need to communicate with a girl for the first time: funny incidents at school, esotericism, pets. The main thing is that the conversation is light and positive.
3.How to interrupt a conversation correctly You also need to be able to end a conversation. In order for the girl to wait for your messages in the future, end the conversation at the peak of interest . This does not mean that you should merge at the most interesting moment. Say that today you still need to prepare for the subjects / help someone close to you / or it is time to sleep, but you will be happy to contact again. Don't let the girl get tired of you. For the first dialogue, as well as for a date, 1-1.5 hours is enough to keep her curiosity and desire to get to know you better.
4. Useful tips:
-False excluded . Remember, any lie sooner or later comes out. You can make a mistake, forget what you said, or acquaintances will accidentally reveal the truth. Your facial expression, look, body movements, voice can give out that you are not telling the truth. The trust of your girlfriend will be lost forever. In order not to lie, just say that you do not want to answer the question yet. You can also reply that this topic is unpleasant for you, or that tell me about it later.
- Obscene language turns off decent girls. Do not use swearing in a conversation if you do not want to spoil her good impression. This also includes words-parasites, repeated very often: here, in short, uh. (When talking via voice communication).
-J complaints are unacceptable . The worst thing you can think of is to start complaining about life, work, financial difficulties, health, ex-girlfriend. Girls don't like whiners and losers. They prefer strong and successful guys. If you start talking about your worthless life, then you will fail: this dialogue will be the last.
-Enter a dialogue . The girl wants to listen to you and tell you about herself. The monologue is of no interest to anyone. Watch the girl's reaction. Take pauses, give the opportunity to ask questions, comment and speak yourself. The dialogue shows that you are interested in the other person, and not just yourself.
-Learn to listen . Many people never learned to listen. They interrupt the interlocutor, do not listen to phrases to the end, begin their story until the interlocutor's story is finished. This causes sectionzeal and bewilderment. During a conversation, look at the interlocutor, nod your head slightly, insert leading questions that stimulate further story. (This is more likely when meeting, but in the dialogue it is worth clarifying some details that you do not fully understand, keep the conversation going so that the girl understands that you don't give a damn about what she says and herself.)
- Speak brightly . Boring speech does not evoke emotions in a girl who wants an interesting and unforgettable evening. Use figurative expressions, emotional words, bright inserts. Stimulate your imagination. Here's how not to say: “Yesterday my friends and I jumped from the tower on the ropes, it was fun.”
Here's how to say: “Yesterday my friends and I decided to jump on the ropes from the tower ... It was cool! You can imagine, you are standing on this tower, there is a wind up there, and you understand that you completely depend on the reliability of the equipment. The flight was incredible, my heart jumped out of my chest, but I experienced incredible pleasure. Let's go together sometime? ”
- Only positive . Avoid negativity. Do not in any way condemn the shortcomings of the interlocutor or other women. Blame, taunt and show that you are much smarter than she is impossible. Any form of negativity is repulsive. This must be remembered once and for all.
- Confidence . Why does a girl need an insecure guy? She doesn't want to be your mommy. She needs someone who will protect and help her, instill confidence in her. If you want to please her - get rid of the words “I don’t know”, “maybe”, “you need to think.” Direct glance, straightened shoulders, clear speech, smile, calm body movements, straight gait are the first signs of a confident person. (this is already for dating, but eventually will be needed). Practice in front of the mirror, ask a friend to correct your behavior or attend special trainings.
This is going to be a bit long, but I'm sure the answer is almost always less than you think. I'd say it's about 10 (5 posted from each). Here's why:
The chances of her saying “yes” don't go up much after the first 15 posts.
It's true. The thing is, women in dating apps are one of two types:
They want to meet guys they are interested in and go on dates with them, OR They like attention and like to pair with flirting with guys, with no real intention of dating in real life. Women you agree with, type 1, are waiting for you to ask them. That's why they're there! They want to go out and have fun with you. Sure, they'll want to talk a couple of times to see if you're not saying anything vulgar or threatening, which helps if you come across funny, smart and collected, but for the most part, you should expect them to want to with you. meet you right from the start.
You will now also be dating women who are Type 2. These women use the app as entertainment and as an ego stimulus, not as a tool to communicate with people. It's great and they can be fun to talk to (and really good practice when you first start), but they won't want to go with you, and that doesn't change after 50 or 500 messages. And that's okay! You just need to admit it and understand that if you want to meet women, in real life you need to focus on looking for type 1.
Here's what I recommend: always assume that the girl is type 1. If you do this, you will not waste time on a conversation that leads nowhere. Logically, this means you should send her a good introductory message, exchange a few pleasantries, and then ask her.
If she's basically Type 1, great! She will say yes and you have a date (woohoo!)
If she is type 2, she will let you know, usually without reacting at all or without giving a vague answer (“maybe I'll be leaving soon cities. ”) If she does, you should also think about how it is like winning! You just saved yourself from a time when texting and stress became emotionally involved, only to find out that she wouldn't go out with you anyway.
A good way to do this is to tell her you should go after the first few messages and ask her then. Not only does this give you the opportunity to ask her out on a date, but it shows that you are busy with the guy in his life and you can't chat all day.
Ask a question that interests you personally. Don't try to seem like you are not and don't try to please. Just be yourself. Be sincere.
I will answer as a lover of this business. It all depends on where you meet. If this is a tinder, tan-tan, bubble, etc., then a simple hello is enough, because it is clear why everyone is sitting there. In VK, it is better to look through the profile and write something that is not trivial, but without a hint of a tackle. In both cases, it is better to joke if it comes out, but not petrosyan. It is necessary to find common points and not delay in order to call on the first date. Somehow like a captain, but sometimes it worked for me. And finally, the joke is not for the faint of heart: write that you are a tomato. Girls with a sense of humor will appreciate it.
Personally, when I first met, banal questions wildly annoy me. I think that not only me. If the conversation starts like this:
how are you?
what are you doing?
-what are you fond of?
It is immediately clear that it is unlikely that anything good will come of it. Maybe, of course, this is just my personal opinion, but still.
I have one friend, we are just texting, we have not seen each other yet. So he asks me such interesting questions (probably because he himself is interested). For example, now it was Christmas, he told where he and his family went, and asked me how we usually celebrate it.
Why did I choose my direction of study, where I traveled and what types of leisure I prefer ... And in the very first message he asked me to tell about myself, what exactly I teach, etc.
So, outwardly, I don't really like him (for me, beauty is very important), and a couple more things, however, I am pleased to communicate with him, I have something to say about him. I really like this atmosphere of NOT modern communication, everything is in order, no moronic greetings. He hasn't paid me any compliments yet, however, I guess it's just too early, he doesn't know me so well to pay attention to something. There was another one, so the first message was "do you know that you have a superb appearance?" And that's what he wants ?? Naughty, rushing like a tank, no boundaries. Thank you, of course, but you can't call it pleasant. I began to communicate with him, and I see that he is not pleasant to me even outwardly (it’s nasty, my friends also said so).
Purely theoretically, the first has more chances ...
I don’t want to sound royal, but since this is a question, I express my opinion and perception of some young people with whom I had to communicate. I can say that the guy's data, as such, are both external (and outwardly there is a lot to say about the character), and the character itself (or rather, a category, sorry for the cynicism), which is also understandable almost immediately.
Age. You should not ask age and go into the past of your personal life. Try to pull out as much personal information as possible. This is repulsive. Note that no one will like this if the communication consists of interrogation.
At one time, I always started a conversation with a compliment. Because why not, because now she won't get away !!! MWA-HA-HA-HA !!! In short, 10 out of 10 reacted. how they reacted, you could then decide what to do with it.
Do not ask questions that are answered on the page. For example, age, city of residence, education. Some especially "attentive" even ask for a name, although the girl is not registered under a nickname. Break away from the photos of the object of interest, spend 30 seconds, go over the questionnaire. An individual approach will immediately set you apart from the crowd of "spam pickup" who send out the same messages in batches.
I can only tell you how best NOT to start - men, I implore you, do not use tackles!
Are your parents not Muslims (shellfish / pastry chefs)? (and where did they get such a bomb (pearl \ sweetie)?),
but it didn't hurt to fall? (after all, such an angel definitely fell from heaven!), you are arrested for stealing (my heart),
mom doesn't need a son-in-law?
hey kitty, are you ready to see your new boyfriend? you are wildly lucky!
Hey baby, you're on fire. I am your fire extinguisher - PYSPH.
I only recommend one thing - be sincere. It is very attractive.
I met my husband on a dating site, where he registered to help find a girl friend. As a result, they did not find anyone for him, but for himself he found me. Wrote something like hello, and then asked a question that surprised me a little - asked what era I would like to be born in? This question was different from the one usually asked from strangers like “hello, how are you, how are you, what are you doing,” so at first I was confused, and then I answered and the conversation started. Of course, this is not a secret to success, but why not someone give it a try?
My husband and I also met on the social network many years ago. He started the conversation with some simple question, like: "hello. How are you there?" It was funny, so simple, as if we have known each other for a long time, and I even thought that maybe we talked, but I forgot? And I began to answer in the same spirit as if we were chatting just yesterday.
PS I really don't know, maybe it worked with me with one of them, and I advise you in vain: D
I really like to ask who a girl works or who is studying for - the answer to this question replaces the answers for a dozen others and tells a lot about a person - about his social status, intelligence, personal qualities, energy.