I call such a behavior in social networks "the theory of mutual like". I give you a sugary comment today - you give me a slobbering signature tomorrow. If you are a little aware of what happens in the personal life of such friendships, it is easy to notice the relationship between the number and frequency of such forests and the presence of an object of sympathy for the young lady. But it's better not to go there, of course.
I have not yet met really adequate girls, sincere friends who would distribute their "most gorgeous girl" or "madly in love with you, dear" to the right and left, and under the most ordinary pictures.
"How, dear Rooster, sing, you are loud, important!" -
"And you, Cuckoo, my light,
How you pull smoothly and drawn out:
We don't have such a singer in the whole forest! " -
“I’m ready to listen to you, my kumanek, for a century.” -
“And you, beauty, I swear,
As soon as you shut up, then I’m waiting , I can't wait,
So that you start again ...
How can such a voice be taken?
And pure, and gentle, and high! ..
Yes, you really come from this way: you are not great,
And songs, that your nightingale! " -
“Thank you, godfather; but, according to my conscience,
You eat better than a bird of paradise,
I refer to everyone in this ".
Here Sparrow, happened to say to them:" Friends!
Although you get hoarse praising each other -
Your music is all bad! .. "
For what, without fear of sin,
The Cuckoo praises the Rooster?
For the fact that he praises the Cuckoo.
When reading such comments, a man gets the impression that the girl-commentator is a kind, beautiful, smiling fairy who wishes only good to others, while his wife is always dissatisfied and scandals with everyone. Infa 100%. That is, girls who communicate in this way create such targeted PR for themselves, by the way, if you pay attention, at parties they communicate in the same way. This is very feminine according to their target.
Here they talk about emotionality, but I think that there are no emotions in these comments. This is a simple politeness and a desire to seem like a pleasant person to the interlocutor, simply expressed in a somewhat strange exaggerated form. When communicating on the network, you cannot see the facial expressions of the interlocutor and other non-verbal ways to express your location, so the girls try to make their speech as polite and soft as possible. Among men (when communicating with a girl), this phenomenon also occurs.
Well, this is manifested not only in social networks. Many girls in general very often act with each other in a very feigned manner.
If we consider this from the point of view of psychology, then everything that a person externally manifests with excessive intensity speaks of the opposite, ulterior motive. That is, when a person is too kind to someone, this speaks of his inner, hidden aggression.
The question arises, why is this manifested in girls to a greater extent? This is physiology. Men, having more physical strength than women, tend to be more open and calm towards other members of the same gender. Since the resolution of conflicts between them, most often occurs at the level of physical strength. In other words, men are less likely to carry hidden grievances and anger within themselves. Women tend to act more cunningly in conflict situations, but as a result - emotionally. Men conflict more openly, more clearly. Whereas two women can secretly hate each other for years; and both one and the other will perfectly feel the true attitude towards themselves.
A woman by nature is a bare nerve. Women tend to let everything that happens around them pass through themselves. That is why they are so emotional. Therefore, as a rule, a woman seeks to bring her life into a peaceful channel, to surround herself with beauty and maximum comfort. And in these conditions there is usually no place for other women :)
In the Chinese language there is a hieroglyph that depicts one woman under a roof, this hieroglyph means: "calmness", "peace". There is also a similar hieroglyph, which depicts two women under one roof, its meaning: "trouble", "problem".
I have repeatedly noticed that women, say, on itao communicate with each other like chatbots, a terrible sight. However, after reading these sterile dialogues, you can find in them a strange tacit agreement: almost all women try to conform to the conditional Superwoman. They are not joking because one can seem ridiculous, and they do not laugh at the Superwoman. They are mired in suffixes because the Superwoman doesn't say "panties" - only "panties". They all apologize to the potential reader for the extra pounds, because the Superwoman is smooth and elastic. They all call their partners My Man, because a Superwoman cannot have a peasant with a small letter. It turns out a vicious circle - they themselves create an image, and they themselves chase after it. Hence, terabytes of photos with bouquets, a bent leg and an inverted neck, the same hairstyles, the same makeup - a clear and loud signal, the statement "I am a woman, here is a certified certificate of conformity".
It seems to me that most comments on social networks, if they are not a question or an answer to a question, serve as a kind of beacon - they say, I haven't forgotten you, I'm looking at how you are doing. Naturally, such a comment should give a positive assessment of something, and here, I can't help but notice that not only girls sin with sugaryness, men only use a less concentrated form.
People who have, let's say so , not very broad-minded, often leave two types of comments - either they make fun of something in a very cheeky manner, or they start such a nauseating lisp. In my opinion, this is all a consequence of the fact that there is really nothing to say, so they get out of it due to their intellect.
I must say right away that there may be a bunch of other reasons, but I will try to describe the most relevant.
For most girls, self-doubt is very characteristic (especially if their personal life is not very successful). Girls very often cannot decide something for themselves: what dress to wear, to eat an extra bun or not, what to answer this guy. And here friends come to the rescue, helping to solve all these problems and giving advice. This manner of communication becomes a habit, the girls ask for advice about each step, and they comment on each step. "Gorgeous photo, you are just a beauty!" - comment under the photo, which shows a double chin, and the girl already feels happier and more confident in herself. All this sugary is intended to make each other feel loved, beautiful, needed, a way to say "yes, friend, I'm with you", and a way to follow each other's every step and get approval.
Fortunately, there are enough girls for whom all this external tinsel is not important, I am sure they are in your environment as well
Girls often flatter each other, expecting the same attitude towards themselves in the future. Likes and cute comments as well. If a photo "with a face" is posted on Instagram, then a friend is simply obliged to like it, otherwise it will be blacklisted. Women notice and remember such things. Such research :)
In short: "cute" - because girls, "nauseous" - because on social networks.
The answer of the "anthropologist from Mars" can be built on two differences: "male - female" and " private - public ". In a culture to which both girls and the author of the question belong, it is important that male and female models of behavior differ markedly from one another. The "real male" model is tough, competitive, with allowed mutual aggression, and the "real female", on the contrary, is soft, with demonstrative mutual support. Sociobiologists explain that this is more beneficial for group selection: males protect the group from external enemies, females smooth out conflicts within the group.
Both models, "real female" and "real male", are brought up and supported before total, in small groups in a private space (fishing, fight club, bachelorette party, etc.). In a public space where men and women come together, both of them adhere to mixed models, more moderate.
The cause of social malfunction, that is, "nausea", is most likely in the special position of social networks, whose the place in the coordinates "private - public" remains controversial. The girls apparently believed that they were communicating in their private space, for which a “real female” model of behavior was suitable. The male observer was rather accustomed to a more moderate model of female behavior that he met in public space, so a “real female” could cause him a reaction of rejection in the most literal sense.
Will girls begin to behave in a social networks in a different way, depends on the "pressure of the environment", how strong the reaction of the dissatisfied will be. Most likely it won't and won't. You can observe, for comparison, similar situations on the street or in transport, how they treat girls when they forget where they are and communicate nicely, as they are used to in their company.
Women have a different strategy of behavior than men. For tens of thousands of years, women have been improving in communication. This is required because it is more important for them not to resolve issues by force or cold reason (this is required, and this is the business of men), but to resolve issues by negotiating, feeling and anticipating those around them, and, most importantly, children. Children cannot solve their problems themselves, cannot explain what is happening to them. You have to feel them. Of course, we are talking about a period of approximately 0-3 years, which is a lot. It is impossible for a woman to raise children alone; she needs help, which must be negotiated. When it comes to hunting, a man can rationally convince him that he is right - by proving in practice, by reasoning. When a woman's child is sick, reason alone is not enough. There is still a hundred thousand years before the emergence of evidence-based medicine. (But even now, when doctors come to you on a call, they make a diagnosis based on experience, and do not immediately do analyzes.) In the meantime, a woman is forced to turn on intuition and communication with neighbors. Moreover, to select from all the information only the necessary, to listen to another woman with her ambitions for an hour or two and not kill the communication, since she will not have another assistant tomorrow, which means death in primitive cave conditions. This requires attention, patience, and the ability to understand, and the ability to feel what they want to say, and not just what they say directly, the ability not to explode at the moment of unfair teachings.
I repeat, this is for men. is also required, but mainly requires working with rational arguments.
That is why women are more perfect in communication and their communication is often incomprehensible to men. They see, take into account and apply more nuances in communication, more shades.
Excellence in communication is also confirmed by the fact that girls begin to speak earlier. This is due to the fact that the corpus callosum (the part of the brain connecting the two hemispheres) develops earlier in girls. As far as I know, research is still going on about the size of this body in adulthood. Some argue that women have more (up to a third). Others speak of smaller differences.
Research also speaks of one third more active genes associated with speech in girls: medportal.ru
What makes us sick is a way for them to improve and show the top class in the art of communication.